Your Good Man’s Greatest Fear: Rejection in Bed

by: Py Kim Conant



From the earliest days of dating your Good Man through years of marriage to him, it is inherent in his being a man that he constantly risks rejection by you. Early in the relationship you may turn down a date, not want to go to the restaurant or movie he suggests, refuse his good-night kiss (even on the third date, as I foolishly did to the man I later married), not let him come into your home, not want to have sex. Your Good Man has the courage to keep taking the initiative with you, proposing things to you that you might turn down, thereby rejecting him in the process of rejecting his idea or suggestion. Respect your Good Man’s courage in the lifelong journey of risk-taking that he embarks on with you. It takes balls to be a man. Real nerve. Respect that. Even after you are together, even married, his risk-taking continues. A man’s life always involves a risk of rejection. It’s bad enough that he faces that risk at work (as do you, too, of course), but he also faces it at home, even from you, his Good Woman who loves and respects him. At work, a man may risk rejection (of an idea, a project, a request, a report, an opinion) that could negatively impact how he feels about himself as a man. However, a man’s greatest psychological vulnerability is not the risk of rejection at work, but the risk of rejection at home, from you, his Good Woman. A man’s ego is most vulnerable when, after you have established a sexual relationship, he tells you that he wants to make love to you. At that point you hold his ego in your hands. If you refuse his invitation or request for sex, you may think that you refused for some objective reason, such as the late hour, illness, chores that need doing, your own distractedness, not enough time, hunger, the baby’s diaper, not in the mood, or a hundred other reasonable scenarios that preclude lovemaking at that moment. If he were to ask why, you’d say, “Nothing personal; it’s just ___________ (fill in the blank).” You probably wouldn’t see it as a big deal. “We’ll make love later,” you’d probably think, if you thought about it any more at all. “Wait a minute,” you might think, “I’m tired/it’s late/we have to leave in twenty minutes. That’s why I said no. I’m not rejecting him or his rejection. I love him and I love his manhood.” For him, when you refused his (brave, risky) offer to make love, you refused his manhood. Translation: You refused him as a man. He feels bad about himself as a man, refused by his girlfriend, fiancée, or wife, rejected by the woman he loves, his manhood rejected by the woman he loves, his manhood refused and rejected.
About The Author
Py Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House Publishers. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com.

The Top 10 Terms You Need to Know in the Seduction Community

by: James Brito



"Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life." -Immanuel Kant It’s my mission to give you wisdom: attracting all the positive stuff, repelling all the negative stuff. There’s no sense wasting your time with information and emotions that don’t make you a superior man (example: the many, many pickup books that are an absolute waste of time). So I’m going to help you attract the information YOU need to know, to get the girls you want! To do that, I’ll be sharing my favorite websites for quality information. Here you can learn all the things you should do…and all the things you shouldn’t! The first website you need to know about is UrbanDictionary.com . So much of the seduction community is centered around terms, initials, and euphemisms. There’s IOI, DHV, negging, cocky funny, inner wuss, ATC, frame control–you name it, there’s a term for it. Knowing these terms isn’t crucial, but the meaning of the terms themselves is very special knowledge. For example, you don’t necessarily need to know that ATC means Artificial Time Constraint, but understanding the concept of only spending a limited time around women before taking off, is invaluable. Urbandictionary.com is a great website for sorting out all the terms. Enjoy, and remember: Knowledge is only as good as putting into action. Follow the lead of Kahlil Gibran: "A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle." Here’s just a sample of the informative (and often hilarious) terms found in this website: UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… Love "Often confused with infatuation by adolescents, college students and even supposedly mature people. Love is not the often associated chemical reaction which has similar effects on the brain as cocaine, nor is it the inability to be without that person for a day." -OMG! I’m sooo in love with Brad Pitt!! -No you’re not. You just want his small wang. You don’t even know him! -*Cries* No, I will marry him! I’m going to go home and fantasize about him! *Cries and runs away* UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… Kino "The act of making flirtatious physical contact with a person of sexual interest. Generally considered to be a vital tool in one’s ‘Game Belt.’" Hopefully I can get some action by using a little kino on the ladies tonight. UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… Oneitis "Often confused with love, this is the feeling that a particular woman is actually special. This is just an illusion; she is the same as the other three or so billion." ‘Go **** ten other women’ is the most commonly prescribed treatment for this "disease" (hence the "itis"), as it tends to show quite quickly how very alike people are. In other words, get over yourself and your obsession with that girl, because it’s just an illusion. And when you get rejected, don’t be depressed. Because there’s really not much to worry about." Dude, you definitely have oneitis for that girl. You’ve been talking about her nonstop for the past week. Don’t you realize she’s nothing special, and that you are just being fooled? Snap out of it so you won’t be so depressed when she rejects you! UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… Neg "A light insult wrapped in the package of a complement. Used by pick-up artists to gain and maintain the attention of women who possess uncommon beauty (9+). These women are immune to standard complements." The classic neg pua - "you have beautiful nails, are they real?" (9+) -"not really" pua - "Oh, I guess thats still cool" pua - "that’s really cute, your nose wiggles when you speak" (9+) -"no it doesn’t" pua - "ha ha, there it goes again, sorry, its just really cute" "I just kept tossing neg after neg at that 10 standing by the bar, and she loved it, she was giving me crazy kino" UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… DHV "Noun: Demonstration of Higher Value Verb: Demonstrate Higer Value Presentation that will increase your value in the opinion of your audience." I related a funny and cocky joke as a DHV. UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… AMOG "Alpha Male Of the Group A guy that everyone thinks is cool and is always the social center of the room." Bob: Dude, why is everyone crowding arounding that bag of douche? Me: Cause he’s a total AMOG UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… Beta Male "An unremarkable, careful man who avoids risk and confrontation. Beta males lack the physical presence, charisma and confidence of the Alpha male." Pete knew he was losing the girl he’d just met at the bar to the guy who bought her a drink, but he was too much of a beta male to do anything about it. UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… Sarging "Verb; to Sarge. The act of engaging conversational rapport with a complete stranger. Though tied to the seduction community as the official name for being "on the hunt," the term also applies in business and interpersonal relations, as the act of appearing as a socially versatile and competent person. Credit to Ross Jeffries, who claims to have named the act after his cat." in seduction: "My wingman and I went sarging last night at club X." other: "The goal in business is to sarge your coworkers as soon as you start working there. It’s a quick way to appear competent!" UrbanDictionary.com Definition of… mPUA "Master Pick Up Artist. Used to refer to one who has attained legendary status within the ‘Pick Up Artist’ community. Originally used to refer solely to Neil Strauss, aka Style. Referenced in Strauss’s book ‘The Game’." Man Style kept eight girls on the go, he truly is a mPUA. And now, my personal favorite definition… Friendship "A method of castrating men without using sharp objects." From David DeAngelo’s article: She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said "Thank you… I really mean that… but I don’t want to mess up our friendship… you’re too important to me…" Now that’s something you definitely want to avoid! And if you want to make sure the words "just friends" never enter your eardrums again, visit the place that turns men around the world from "just friends" to "seduction masters": http://www.000relationships.com/towomen/ Because it’s your turn!

Is your Sex LIfe Boring?

by: Maurice Tate

As a sexologist I get to talk to many men and women about sex. The funny thing is that most people I talk to tell me that they think others are having a much greater sex life than they are. Generally they say that their own sex is pretty boring and non exciting. The longer the couple has been together the more boring sex seems to have become. Of course there are couples that have great sex and have been together for ages. These couples are rare in my experience. A recent study found that in 2 years of marriage, the women's interest in sex had dropped off about 50%. There was also a lot less intercourse per week. So what can one do to spice up ones sex life? I like to think of sex in 3 flavours. The first one is partner connection. Women generally love this style of lovemaking. In this flavour the emotional connection with your lover is most important. Generally, couples when they first fall in love have a lot of partner connection in sex. There is a lot of eye gazing, touch and emotions flowing and sex is really just great. It seems to flow and there is much hugging, touch and foreplay. So how does one get more of this connections with your partner. One tip in sex to get more of this flavour is to open your eyes during sex. I find most couple do not even take a look at their lover. The eyes connect and the emotions can flow thought he eyes. for the more advanced, I suggest to open your eyes during orgasm. Most men find this a challenge but it can be done! The second flavour of lovemaking is what I like to call trance. In this style one goes into oneself and is totally in ones own fantasy, sensations or a trance like state. Eyes are closed as the connection with your partner is not important. Most men seem to like trance. I did have a lover that loved going into trance. However, I just felt I was a travel agent taking her to amazing places. Since I could not come along I felt unsatisfied. The touch was one way and I found this frustrating. I did communicate this and she did start to touch me more. The third flavour is role playing. This can be a great deal of fun. One can act out ones fantasies or take on roles of the sexual healer or priest. How about becoming animals?. Bondage games fall into this type of play. Generally this is more challenging for most people. However playing roles really can spice up your sex life. With my clients I suggest they start to explore the flavours that they are weak on. Most couples do not play roles as it is a bit scary. I suggest to pass through is fear and really start to explore. If you have boring sex, you are actually committed to this on some level. Challenge your lover to do something different and you might have to compromise too. Suggest your lover takes the lead in trying something new too. Above all, have fun.
About The Author
Mauice Tate is a qualified sexologist trained at the Advanced Institute of Sexology. Visit his sites at http://www.bodyecstatic.com/free-relationship-tips.htm

Mrs. Right...or Mrs. Disaster?: 10 Requirements for True Love

by: James Brito

I still remember getting the call, the call I knew would come but was nonetheless shocked to hear. My friend, Johnny, after just 10 months of marriage to a girl everyone knew was wrong for him, had gotten divorced. Instead of becoming a happily-ever-after couple, Johnny and Marissa had joined millions of other Americans and become statistics. Statistics of the all-too-common divorce. It’s funny how these short-term marriages and long-term miseries occur. Usually it begins with a bad case of "Oneitis." Don’t know the word Oneitis? Well, surely you know this infectious disease’s symptoms: You think you’ve met the girl who’s perfect for you, who you can have a great relationship with and eventually marry You ignore the bitchy behavior and abuse that comes from this girl, still believing that she’s "The One" You see and know girls who you know would be much better for you, but ignore them because the girl you’re with is better-looking, taller, skinnier–a number of superficial qualities that don’t add up to the love you know you could get elsewhere You spend lots and lots of money on this girl, and she never bothers to thank you–or if she does, it’s less than sincere Your friends all tell you that this girl isn’t right for you, but you ignore their advice Maybe your friends have even fought with this girl, but you defend her even though you know deep-down her behavior is unacceptable You spend all your time with this girl, and ignore your friends and family You find yourself calling her all the time to see what she’s doing, and who she’s with You can’t get this girl out of your head, even when she’s long gone! If you’ve ever watched the classic film Swingers, then you know what Oneitis is: it’s the character of Mikey! Unfortunately, a lot of guys become the Mikeys of this world. And while some men may just go through this with a girl they’re only dating, other guys, like Johnny, take this obsession all the way to marriage. And that’s when the "disease" becomes deadly. How do you know when a girl is right for you? I could write book after book after book about what’s right and what’s wrong, but what it comes down to are ten essential ingredients for lasting success: She supports and encourages your goals and interests. A girl who’s right for you should follow you on your path–not try to re-direct it her own way. Unfortunately, Johnny’s wife wanted him to do something completely different to the direction he wanted to head, so it was little wonder that their romance fizzled out so quickly. Guys, if you can’t be open about your feelings, interests, passions and purpose, then you shouldn’t be with the girl. She should be able to listen and understand, not disregard and sneer. You can accept her and her goals and interests. Just like a woman should support and push you on the path you want to head, so too should you be able to do the same for her. If she’s into motorcycling and you hate it, or if she wants to travel the world and you just want to stay in one place, then chances are you two aren’t made for each other. Likewise, you should be able to understand her emotions and concerns–both of you MUST be good, compassionate listeners. She loves you for you, not your money and possessions. So many rich and powerful men have destructive relationships with women. Why? Because the woman aren’t marrying these men–they’re marrying their money. And divorce isn’t cheap, so even when these guys break up with the bloodsuckers, the women still get a hefty chunk of the pie! She generally gets along with your family and friends–and doesn’t mind seeing them. So many guys seem to forget this, watching dumbly as their girlfriend pulls them further and further from their family and friends to have him all for her own. I’ve got an uncle who blindly allowed himself to end all contact with his family because his wife hated them. Somehow they’re still married, but is that the kind of woman you want to be with? She’s on the same page, spiritually, as you. Spirituality is a big thing for couples–it can unite them like nothing else. I know so many couples who are happily married because they believe in the same God, the same purpose in life, the same deep feelings about their existence. Conversely, couples who battle over the questions of life just do not have the same loving romance. A girl who’s right for you doesn’t necessarily have to believe in the same religious principles and dogmas as you, but if she’s an atheist and you’re a Christian, things may not work out long-term. She wants to spend as much time with you as with her own friends and family. This may seem like an obvious one, but so many guys fawn over girls who only see them on THEIR schedule. If a girl is really right for you, you shouldn’t have to obsess over her or ask her permission to see her. You should both WANT to see each other and miss being with one another–that’s a sign that you’re both in love. You both share the same feelings for another. If you know deep in your heart that you want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her, but she’s non-committal and vague, then you should certainly move on. A true, loving partner should accept you completely for who you are and what you feel. On the other hand, if you both feel comfortable sharing feelings with each other, and she accepts the deep things that you reveal to her, then you’ve found a true catch! You both make time for each other, even through work and school. Spending quality time with one another is crucial. If your girl is always at her job, concentrating on her career, or studying for a degree, and not making an effort to be with you, then it’s time to move on. True love knows no bounds–including time. While it’s great to have a girl who’s serious about her career and education, this can also be a relationship-breaker if she takes either too seriously. Money and possessions are not as important as love. This is a simple one: If your girl only talks about possessions and money, if that’s where her true values lie, then you might want to back out of the relationship. Every girl wants good things in life, but if she really loves you, then how much you make and how much you give her shouldn’t be #1 on her priority list. You both are able to put each other ahead of yourselves. This can be the make or break of a relationship. If she’s willing to do things for you, sacrifice time with her friends or time at work to be with you and make you meals, then you’ve found yourself a winner. However, if she’s always cancelling dates, spending more time with her friends than with you, and never gets you any gifts or acts of service, then you’ve found yourself a bitch. Move on. When she treats herself more important than you, then you’re heading towards disaster. In the end, you want a girl who can you be you around, and know that you’re valued by her night and day. If you’re in a relationship now that you want to be more serious, ask yourself if the woman you’re with fulfills these 10 requirements. And if you’re looking for love, don’t get too far into it unless you really feel that the girl treats you right. For all of you in a marriage or just got divorced, I highly recommend you check out this great service I found over the web. You can get free, high-quality newsletters that will tell you how to handle your marriage, or find a new one, and what kinds of signs to look out for that your relationship is on the rocks. Check out Save My Marriage Today now: http://www.savemymarriagetoday.com/ And remember: There’s a big difference between "The One" who’s right for you…and "The One" who will become your biggest nightmare!
About The Author
Relationship expert James Brito, author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women" and "The Art of Impressing Women," regularly explores topics of female attraction. Since 2000, he has helped thousands of men around the world build confidence and get the women they deserve. To get his free six-part audio mini-course, go to: http://www.000relationships.com/ Because it's YOUR turn!

Special Ways to Say I Love You

by: Jane Karwoski

Can you say “I love you” too many times? Well, if you don’t really mean it of course you can. Or maybe it’s the unimaginative ways we express it that compel us to stop using the words “I love you” altogether.
Love is not just an emotion or feeling. Love is something we must see with our eyes, not just feel with our heart. In order to keep the word love from being common place we must keep it alive with the things we do for that special person in our life. Be it a soft burning, sweet smelling candle lighting a dark room with a delicious dinner for two on the table, and the soothing sound of music in the background; surprising your sweetheart with something romantic is a great way of showing them how much you love and care for them.
Too many times we think it is enough just to say “I love you” to our sweetheart. We are then off the hook to really work at keeping the relationship fresh and exciting. If you are clueless as what would put the “sparkle” back in your relationship, try a few if these simple things:
Give your sweetheart a wonderful back rub, gently telling them to relax and unwind from their day at work or with the kids, etc. While you are both relaxed, this is a good time to tell them you love them and that they mean the world to you. When you take the time to give them your time and attention without expecting something in return, this makes the word “love” more meaningful.
Try arranging a special day for the two of you to do something the other enjoys. Participate in that activity with them, even though it’s not your favorite thing to do and give them all your attention and just cherish the day. The words “I love you” will come freely from both of you at the end of the day. Your sweetheart will see that you mean what you say by giving of yourself.
If you enjoy writing or are creative you might try your hand at composing a short poem or “love” letter to them, or buy a beautiful card or small little gift. Go ahead and leave it under the bed pillow for them, or anywhere they might be surprised to find it.
How about doing some chores or work around the house before your sweetheart asks you to? Maybe even do something more than they would expect you to do. Before their very eyes it is done, without them nagging you. How much you love them couldn’t be more apparent.
When said at the appropriate times, with just the right feeling from your heart, truly the simple words “I love you” can be the most exhilarating sounds your ears will hear.
About The Author
Jane Karwoski is the co-publisher of the e-book Romantic Secrets to Intimacy. To find out what a true romantic knows sign up for a free newsletter at http://www.secrets-to-intimacy.com.

Dating Advice for Single Parents

If you're a single parent and trying to date it can be tough Thinking about dating and having the time to date sometimes seem as far apart as East is from West. Questions run through your mind...
Am I being selfish? Do I have the time? Who is going to watch the kids? It's been so long. Do I even know how to date?
It can seem overwhelming and look like a far away dream if you didn't have anyone to guide you. Lucky for you , we've picked the minds of successful single dating parents and put together an action plan that will make dating fun, safe and rewarding.
The Action Plan
Your action plan is made up of five simple steps. Each step is designed to build upon the previous one. The goal is for you to spend time with quality dates that respect you and your situation. You will put your plan on paper. Why? Writing takes your plans out of the world of thought and brings it into the world of reality. Get your paper and pencil and let's begin!
Step 1. Asses your situation.
Do you really have the time to date? As a single parent your activities revolve around your kids. Caring for a even a single child is a full time effort. If you have more than one child your workload multiplies. If you decide to date you'll need to create flexibility in your weekly plans and plan in advance. It takes time to find love. If you want love...make the time. Write down the time available each week that you think you can devote to dating. Schedule it.
Step 2. What do you want?
What type of relationship do you want? Are you looking for short term relationships? Long term? Committed? Non-committed? Do you have a time line? Biological ticking clock? What type of person do you want? Tall? Short? Loves to travel? Stay at home type? Christian? Family oriented? Good family relationships? Be honest with yourself. Consult your heart and your head and create the profile of the perfect person for you. Don't leave anything out. List the qualities you admire. The type of family you want them to come from. The color of their eyes etc. The more specific the better. Make it as detailed as possible. A crystal clear target is much easier to hit than an out of focus one. Cupid has the arrow. Help him out and provide the target. Again, write it down. Once your have a clear picture of what you're looking for it's time to find them.
Step 3. Find a date.
There are three places you will go to find a great date. The first and the easiest is a dating website. Yes there are thousands of websites out there. Some great. Some not so great. Read a review of the best dating websites and choose the ones that meet your criteria and join 2-3 of them. Why 2-3? To increase your chances of a match of course. Having your profile/ad in 2-3 dating website substantially increases the odds of a great match. Successful daters play the odds in their favor. Another advantage to dating websites is that you meet people 24 hours a day. Seven days a week. You can view their profiles and if you don't like what you see...delete them! Pick only the best.
The second place you'll go for dates are your family and friends. They know you and your life circumstances. They only wish the best for you. Let them know you're looking for a date and what you're looking for (pull the profile sheet out). Let them look for you. The odds are that you'll have a date within a week. Two weeks tops.
The third place to look for dates is anywhere that you happen to be. You never know where love hangs out. Be open to new experiences and new people.
Step 4. Separate prospects from suspects.
If you followed step three you'll be getting a number of potential dates. The task now is to separate the good(prospects) from the bad(suspects).
As a dating single parent your first job is to protect yourself and your child from anyone that would do anyone of you harm. Safety will be your first screen. If you know the persons full name check to see if this person is a sex offender. Your state may have a registry where you can check for free. Better safe than sorry.
If it's a dating website candidate spend time to get to know the person via e-mail first. The rule is give just general information (no phone numbers, last names, addresses etc) until you get to know the person over a period of time. Minimum two to three months. If they can't wait that long then move them to the suspect file and delete them.
If this is a blind date from your family and friends get ALL the information you can on the person. This would be a good time to write down some questions that you'd like to ask your potential date. Nothing like being prepared. Talk on the phone first. Ask questions to determine if there is some broad based compatibility. Do you like the same things? Dislike the same things? The closer you can match these the happier you'll be.
Once you've done your homework it's time to go on a date. WooHoo!
Step 5. Date!
The first rule is be yourself. The second rule is have fun. If you can follow those two rules you'll have a great time. To ensure that you have a safe and fun time follow these rules.
1) Always let someone know who you're going out with. Where you'll be going. What time to expect you home.
2) Bring your cell phone. If you don't have a cell phone. Get one. They're cheap. No reason not to have one.
3) Always meet in a public place for your first meeting.
4) Arrange a date dump call. Arrange for someone to call you mid way through your date. Prearrange a code word to let them know that your date is going well or not. This is your opportunity to dump your date if you're bored to tears.
5) Consider having your date somewhere you can talk. Like over dinner or maybe a lunch date. Avoid movies on the first date because it doesn't allow you the opportunity to get to know someone. At a movie you get to sit silently for two hours listening to the person behind crunch popcorn and slurp their five gallon bucket of soda. How fun is that!
Being a single parent doesn't mean shutting your heart down. Despite having your kid(s) fill every minute of your waking day you still have a longing in your heart for that special someone.
If not for love...maybe just for a good adult conversation over a warm cup of coffee. Good luck in your dating!


by: James Lindsey

6 Things Not To Do While Making Love

Lovemaking should be the ultimate feeling for both of you, but sometimes it can feel less than special. To help you get the most from the moment here are six things which you should avoid doing wile making the beast with two backs.
1) Calling out another person's name.
Unless you have both agreed to role-play beforehand this is a definite no-no and it's very likely to get you into trouble with your partner. If you are extremely comfortable together then dropping it in could bring some extra kink into lovemaking as part of a spontaneous role-play, but no matter how close you are, if it comes out too naturally it will always hurt your partner emotionally.
2) Ask if he's cum yet.
This can upset men for two main reasons; firstly that it immediately gives the impression that you are just waiting for the experience to be over (If you are he's not going to finish any faster if he knows that, it'll deflate his ego), and secondly because for a man much of the sexual act is based around orgasm, and the idea that you don't even know his intense moment of pleasure can take from the moment.
3) Excessive groaning
There can be few things that bring greater pleasure than hearing your lover groaning with pleasure, but if you make too much extra noise to try to make your partner feel good you risk the opposite - giving the impression that you are purely putting on a show and possibly removed from the act.
4) Continuing watching TV / Reading a book
Come on, your lover wants to feel you are shaking their world, not that you would rather be watching your favourite soap opera.
5) Pretending they are a specific character.
Role-play can be fun for both partners, and many couples enjoy enacting their policeman/woman, nurse or other fantasies with their partner. You may find your partner isn't quite so comfortable if they think you are imagining them as your childhood pinup or ex-partner, though.
6) Taking it too seriously
If you accidentally do any of the above then make sure you do not do this! Nearly every situation in bed can be laughed off. Which of us has never tripped or fallen over during lovemaking, if you take it too seriously it'll spoil the mood, laugh together and sharing the laughter will make you feel closer.

by: Tim Wintle